Session 19 -- Catsby the Great

As the party passed through the iron gates installed in the high stone wall that surround Catsby's mansion, they found a carnival-like atmosphere. Music filled the air as dancers and circus acrobats provided seemingly competitive performances at opposite ends of the lawn. Potent beverages are being consumed by the gallon as a mix of leprechauns, elves, and humans both Native and European hurl themselves into the festivities.  All around you is offered food, drink, entertainment, and the kinds of games and prizes one normally sees at a country fair.  Frantic pipe organ music wafted out from the house.

With that, the party entered the house.  In the foyer, around a decorative fountain, there were two cats perched on the edge. One was getting a drink, and another, a white shorthair was giving them side-eye as cats are wont to do.  Drunken revelers were making a generally obnoxious ruckus. On a sofa to the side, a romantic couple were engaged in some absorbing conversation.  The little turquoise bracelet over the one cat’s paw underscored the extravagance of everything in this place.

Dwårfy sat near the cats and began betting the one that was eyeing them. “Who knows?” he said, “one of these could be Catsby.” The other cat finished drinking and started butting Dwårfy’s elbow with her head, wanting pets, too.

Tiv started hugging the wall, trying to avoid both the cats and the sloppy drunks.

Murchad started eyeing the guests and the staff, amazed at how oblivious everyone seemed to their surroundings. With that, a loud crash drew everyone’s attention as a drunken guest backed into a waiter, knocking an entire tray of glasses to the floor. The cats darted away from Dwårfy. The organ music continued without a break, and the cheers from the lawn hinted that someone must have just won one of the games.

Tiv went into the next room to find a large number of people laying on mats on the floor, unconscious from inhaling the smoke of water-filled devices each had nearby.

Murchad looked at the lovers on the couch. He briefly considered engaging with them, but ultimately decided that the less he had to do with any of the drunken guests, the better.  He moved into the next room, a large rotunda with two long, curved staircases to the second level. Inside the rotunda, a giant pipe organ was belting out a frenzied toccata played by...no one. The entirely automated instrument appears to use a series of clips and springs to bathe the ballroom in flawlessly impossible song. A gleaming plaque over the keyboard reads "The One-And-Only, Absolutely Unique And Ingenious Gnomish Clip-Springer Organ."  Many more guests – leprechauns, skraelings, elves, and some humans who appeared to be wealthy merchants from Europe were engaged in all manner of frivolity. Murchad headed up the stairs.

Dwårfy entered the room just in time to miss seeing Murchad, but he was happy to see three more cats in various places the room. At the far corner, near a corridor, he saw the cat with the turquoise bracelet, and Dwårfy headed straight for him as the cat turned and headed around the corner.   

Ceangal and Jack also explored the downstairs on their own, finding more people sleeping off an overindulgence in intoxicants, as well as a door back outside where guests were playing Falsefoot’s Ladder.

Murchad opened a door at the top of the stairs and entered what appeared to be a large library. In this room was only one, very strange, very drunk being. He was a humanoid about five feet tall (about the size of most humans they have encountered in this land), but he appeared to be more owl than man. Murchad had heard fairytales of creatures inhabiting the feywild called "owlin," and he seemed to fit the description in those stories.  In the moment it took him to process what he was looking at, the owl-man turned to him and said: "See all these books? They're all real! I've checked almost every single one. You'd think he might have just painted the spines of books on the wall, but he went to the trouble of acquiring real books! They have pages and everything!"

When he said that, he fanned the pages of the book in his feathered fingers before tossing it to Murchad.

"He knew when to stop, too. The pages are all uncut."

Murchad could see that the pages are indeed still connected where they had been folded during the binding process. Because the pages were folded, no monk or scribe has written on them yet. What a curious thing to have an entire library full of blank books!

Murchad checked the book title: The Collected Plays Of Lierin Liaroris. “Hm,” Murchad thought, “the name looks elvish, but I don’t recognize it. He must be a playwright here in Tír na nÓg.”

“Do you recommend any?” he asked the owlin.

“Recommend a book? To read?”

“Yes.”

“Seems like an odd waste of time, reading books with nothing in them, but then again I supposed most of the things people around her do are a waste of time.”  As he said that, the owlin eyed the shelves again, and then drifted back to marveling at the blank books…or the sheer number of them.

With that, Murchad quietly withdrew from the library.

Meanwhile, Vedica and Tiv were back in the rotunda, trying to eavesdrop on an elfish couple who were not so drunk that their conversation was uninteresting nonsense. The attractive male and female elf were unaware of their intruders.

“I’m telling you, this is going to be quite the story when we figure it out!”

“Oh, please! People have been trying to figure him out for a long time! What makes you think you’re going to suddenly solve the mystery of ‘Catsby the Great’?”

“I don’t care! I want to get to the bottom of all these parties…and the bottom of this champagne flute!” With that, the male elf tossed back what remained of his drink, placing it on the tray of a wandering waiter.

“He’s always got the best stuff to drink...and he’s obviously got a ton of money to fund all this!”

“Oh, I think it’s a wonderful idea! You could finally solve the mystery! ‘Nic Fennel, super-sleuth’!” the female elf laughed.

“Oh, please, Jardin! I don’t have to be a ‘super-sleuth’ to figure this out. I just have to be less drunk than everybody else in this crazy place!”

The conversation continued in that vein as Vedica and Tiv continued eavesdropping. Nic was getting himself more and more worked up, and Jardin was enjoying egging him on.

The party continued to poke their heads into various rooms, finding numerous guest bedrooms with drunk guests passed out on beds and sofas and floors. In almost every room there was a cat…or two (…or three).

Dwårfy entered a room with a large wading pool in which some guests were relaxing. Some appeared to have brought bathing outfits to the party, while others had stripped down to their underwear (or less) to take a dip. Still others reveled in the pool fully clothed.  From there, he stumbled upon the kitchen.  One of the staff asked if he was hungry, and encouraged him to go back to the party.  Dwårfy learned that the worker never saw Catsby and got her orders from the head butler. She wasn’t sure where he was, but she told Dwårfy that he could be spotted wearing all black. They’ve been too busy in the kitchen to notice much else besides their work.

Tiv and Vedica tailed Nic and Jardin as the elves drifted upstairs with fresh drinks.

In the sitting rooms upstairs, the party members found guests who were refined and pretentious. They were better dressed and better behaved (but no less drunk) than those downstairs. They seemed to be invested in attempting to pretend that the party they are attending was a high class affair rather than a drunken circus. They were sipping cocktails and discussing arts and cultural events, plays, artists, and books of which the PCs were wholly ignorant.  Here, there were Skraeling chieftains (or relatives of chieftains), influential leprechauns, and even some human merchants who do occasional business back in Europe.

At the top of the stairs, Vedica and Tiv could hear the convseration between Nic and Jardin continuing through the open door of the library.

Murchad, who found a locked door down the end of the hall, motioned to Vedica now that she was in view. Vedica left the library door to see if she could pick the locked door where Murchad was standing. She failed to do that, but Murchad, taking a moment to judge the noise of the house, put his shoulder into it and managed to break it free.  Vedica went back up the hall to the library while Murchad stepped into what was obviously the master bedroom. He didn’t find anything there, but he did look into the next room, which was an oversized wardrobe. Fancy clothes made of expensive fabrics folded neatly on countless shelves. In one section, Murchad found the most beautiful shirts he’d ever seen. They were so beautiful, in fact, almost brought a little tear to his eye.

While Vedica was doing that, Tiv checked out a study at the other end of the hall. It was empty save for the cat with the turquoise bracelet.  She hurried back to the library so Vedica wouldn’t wonder where she had gone.

Back at the library, Vedica and Tiv enter the library. Nic and Jardin continue their conversation. Nic was getting annoyed at Jardin’s attitude. Apparently, he had been sent an invitation, but nobody on the house staff seemed to care. Everyone he showed it to simply said that nobody was ever invited to these parties, and that he should just have a nice time. Nic was annoyed that Catsby would personally invite him to his home and not even bother to meet him.

Jardin cut him off, “If he invited you here, surely he intends to meet you, so just make yourself visible.”

With that, the owlin turned toward them and said, “Catsby? He doesn't exist. He isn't real! I mean, he is real, but not really real, you know what I mean?  In one sense, he's hyper-real, since there are a hundred versions of him: the merchant, the swindler, the gangster, the prophet, the murderer, the cat...  In another sense, he's unreal since no one has ever met him. Ask anyone who says they know him, and he'll tell you that he never actually met our host, but is a friend-of-a-friend of someone who has!”

Jardin playfully replied, “Nonsense! I know he’s real! I’ve met him. We went to different schools together, you see.”

Nic, taking the owlin’s side, turned back toward her. “See, Jardin! I knew he wasn’t real!”

“Then who signed your invitation?”

“I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to find out!”

Vedica asked to see the invitation.  Nic, too exasperated to even realize the oddity of her request, simply said, “Sure! Somebody might be able to make sense of it!” and handed it to her.

Vedica inspected it closely, but found it was just a card with a personal invitation on it. There was nothing visible if she held it up to the light. No invisible ink. No magical enchantments. Nothing. Just a card.

Dwårfy saw the butler dressed in all black, up at the top of the stairs, so he decided to follow him. The butler went right into the library and approached Nic and Jardin. "Mr. Fennel, Ms. Patissier, Mr. Catsby has requested to see you."

Nic and Jardin looked at each other and then back to the butler. Nic made a histrionic gesture that the butler should lead them, and Jardin just called back to the owlin, “See? I told you so!”

In the hallway, Murchad and Dwårfy had their invisibility rings activated.  Vedica activated her own ring, and Tiv activated her Cloak of Elven Hijinks. The butler led the elves down the hall toward the study while the four party members followed invisibly behind.

In the study, Tiv was surprised because now there was a human man. She was sure there had been no one in there but the cat with the turquoise bracelet, but now the cat was gone and the man was there. She was sure no one could have gotten in or out of the room without her noticing.

The butler left the room and closed the door.

The man was dressed in a fine silk suit of vibrant pink, wearing a gold chain and a turquoise ring. Dwårfy looked at the ring and smirked. He addressed Nic and Jardin, identifying himself as Catsby. He wanted their help, particularly Nic’s help. In his hand was a small box, wrapped in paper.

Nic and Jardin were confused. What could he possibly want their help with?

Catsby explained that he wanted to speak with Nic and Jardin because he wants their help connecting with Daysie Bouquet. Nic is a cousin of hers, and Jardin is her closest friend.  He has a secret parcel he wants to pass to her, but he can’t do it personally.

When they pressed him on what was in the parcel and what he was trying to accomplish, told them that he has a secret way he typically visits her (he instinctively twisted his turquoise ring as he said that), but Tum, Daysie’s husband, suspecting someone has been coming into their house, has bought a pack of hellhounds that now roam the Great Lawn of the Guylan Estate, preventing him from employing his typical method.

In the sealed box Catsby is asking them to deliver to her is a 3’ diameter piece of red silk with one end of a wormhole on it. The other end is anchored in Catsby’s mansion (much like a portable hole that is connected to another portable hole). If Daysie spreads the fabric somewhere in her house, the two can pass back and forth between mansions to meet each other.

Because they are both known to the Bouquets, they might be able to easily deliver the package.

Both were willing to try to do as he asked. Jardin excitedly takes the box from him, thrilled for what seems like an exciting and entertaining adventure (or at least a load of juicy gossip).

Nic and Jardin head out the door, and once they’re gone, Murchad, Dwårfy, and Tiv step into the hallway, become visible, and re-enter the study. Vedica was already deep inside the room, so she stayed visible, near the window.

“Sir? Hi. Hello,” said Dwårfy. Catsby, surprised to see his way blocked by three strangers, tried to diffuse what might be a threatening situation. “Who are you? I mean, are you having a good time, old sports? There’s plenty of food and drink downstairs.”

“My name is Dwårfy Dwårfsøn. My companions and I need a little assistance.”

“Oh really? What kind of assistance?”

Murchad told him all about the green, glowing substance they were looking for and how Benjamin Fiddlesticks, the Mayor of Fillí, told them to seek out Catsby.

Catsby thought for a moment. “Green…glowing…I may have a lead on such a thing, but I would need to look into it a bit further. But while I do that, what’s in it for me if I find this for you?”

Murchad answered, “We have become very good at…assisting…others, too.”

“Assisting how?”

“Dragon slaying,” Murchad said as he raised his tunic, showing is dragonscale armor.

“What about when the problem doesn’t call for a frontal assault like dragon slaying. What if the problem called for a more delicate hand, like…infiltration?”

With that, Murchad activated his ring, becoming invisible in front of Catsby’s eyes.  As he did that, Vedica deactivated her own ring, appearing behind him.

Catsby, at first surprised as he wheeled around on Vedica, smiled slyly and said, “Oh, I think we can do business.”

He went to the door and called to the elves who were still in the hallway, making their way toward the stairs, “Nic, Jardin, can you come back a moment? I have some people I’d like you to meet...”